Friday, 13 January 2012

Dream Logic (or Why I Should Stop Following Amanda Palmer on Twitter)

The following blog post is entirely based on a dream I had last night. There really is no point to it, other than I thought it was fun and a little strange.


Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far from reality, a little Mutant Girl found herself in a bit of a quandary

Being a bit of an anxious young lady, Mutant Girl fretted over her attire for the upcoming party. She had to look beautiful. She had to look fascinating. She had to look unique. You see, Mutant Girl did not have a great many friends and she was looking to this party as a means of getting to know people and finding herself some companionship.

She thought long and she thought hard about what she would wear. Suddenly, Mutant Girl had a brainwave.

Furry green legwarmers were the perfect accessory for her party outfit. How did she not think of this earlier? Such a show of megafashionability! Such style. So stylish, in fact, that nobody had even thought to make them yet. She checked high and low through shops and markets but nobody was selling the sought-after furry green legwarmers. Mutant Girl realized what she must do, she would have to buy the furry green fabric and create the legwarmers all by herself.

So she stitched and she stitched and she sewed and she sewed, putting all her love into the pieces of luxuriously soft, green fur. She rubbed her cheeks against it, rubbing her cheeks against things being one of Mutant Girl's favourite pastimes. 

As time passed, Mutant Girl became more and more enamoured with the furry, green fabric and less and less enthusiastic about her previous idea of creating a fabulous pair of legwarmers with which to attract friends. She was wondering what to do when out of the blue she had a very peculiar visitor.

Suddenly, Mutant Girl knew what she wanted to do with her no-longer-legwarmers

And with that, Amanda Palmer was gone as mysteriously as she had arrived.

Mutant Girl worked furiously into the night, devoting all of her love and attention to her new project. She had a goal now, she knew what she was doing and she was very excited. For hours and hours she stitched her furry green fabric until at last she was finished.

.His name was Griswold and she loved him with all her might. "Who needs to go to a party to make friends," thought our little Mutant Girl, "when one can simply stay at home and create one of her very own?" From that moment on, Mutant Girl and Griswold were inseperable. She took him everywhere with her, including to Amanda Palmer's ninja gig for the local Polish community.

And everybody lived happily ever after. Apart from the xenophobic bastards.
I'm not too sure how that poor faceless man fared either.

Foot Notes:

  1. I have many dreams about Amanda Palmer. In almost all of them she gets her boobs out.

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